It's been a bit of a tricky week or so. All of us have been under the weather and it hasn't made life easy. Things particularly came to a head a couple of days ago when I found myself having to make very frequent dashes to the bathroom. Unfortunately, when Alice feels poorly, she likes to feed. A lot. This meant that she was unceremoniously unlatched, put on the floor and left for a few minutes fairly often. As a baby who is used to always being allowed to nurse as long as she likes and to having parents around almost all the time, this probably came as something of a shock. She made her displeasure pretty obvious even to me upstairs.
I've struggled a bit with feeling guilty for not being there to fulfil her needs as much as I usually do. I've frequently had to unlatch her as I was just too sore to continue. As we 'rested' in bed I struggled to keep my patience as she hit me over the head for the twelfth time with her stuffed pig. I didn't feel I was fulfilling the role I have set myself and Alice had certainly noticed. Thankfully, a friend had lent me The Attachment Parenting Book by William and Martha Sears. In it, they write 'What our baby needs most is a happy, rested mother.' This struck a chord with me, and I realised I didn't have to be some super woman. I managed to call in the cavalry (my lovely husband) and ignore the frankly towering pile of washing and concentrated on feeling better. Alice and her Daddy enjoyed some quality time, and I remembered that it is my aim to just be 'good enough'.