Monday, 7 February 2011


I've had a difficult few days lately. Poor Alice is going through the mill. She's seems to be constantly tired, but fighting sleep and her favourite word is NO! which tends to be shouted in my face. We just don't seem to be getting on well.

I got to the end of the day yesterday after finally getting her to sleep at nearly 10pm, and the thought popped into my mind

I wish this whole day had never happened

Almost immediately, I realised how foolish and ungrateful this was. If in ten years time, or even five years, I was given the opportunity to live that day again, I am certain I would jump at the chance. It was a day that my daughter was 17 months old, I was able to cuddle and kiss her, to wipe her face after a meal and hold her hand as she tentatively walked downstairs. It was a day that I breastfed her and dressed her, gave her a bath and stroked her hair.

I will never have the chance to live that day again, and I should be grateful for it. It's been a comfort to me, and has given me perspective when all I want to do is run and hide.


  1. Hi
    I found your blog after looking at some Fill your pants blogs.
    I love this blog and this post - it's great. And very true. I try not to think it but sometimes when she has been a monkey I am glad for bedtime. But then i miss her when she has gone to bed.
    i have heard so many people saying - Oh i can't wait for this stage or that stage and in the early days I felt like that about the rolling or the crawling etc -I still look forward now but try to limit that looking forward in order to maximise these moments.
    I am loving this stage even with all the tempers and tantrums of a 27 month old. I feel like I have a little person and try to record one thing a day that has made me proud to have her and so glad that I am with her full time to see who she is and KNOW who she is :D
    Great Blog - i intend to follow.

  2. This is beautiful! And trust me, when she is a teen, acting very similar to the way she does now (only with more words), then you'll remember these days with fond memories and they'll keep you going through those teen years. LOL! I have two boys, 17 & 15 and so much of what they do now reminds me of their terrible twos. Even when I"m angry, party of me is smiling at the memory.

  3. Thanks for your kind words both of you. It's given me a much needed boost today!

    Positively Calm - I have frequently been guilty of looking to the next stage. I have learnt to rein it in better now! It's true what everyone tells you, they really do grow up too quickly.

    Christine - It's so comforting to know that the early years are a good foundation for the years ahead. I can't even imagine having a teenager! I suppose both a toddler and a teen are navigating their way through some pretty huge transitions.